Directed by: Joshua Seftel
Written by: Jeremy Pikser, Mark Leyner and John Cusack
Starring: John Cusack, Joan Cusack, Marisa Tomei, Hilary Duff, Ben Kingsley and Dan Aykroyd

The gist: A government assassin is sent to a Middle-Eastern warzone where he is assigned to kill a rogue leader while posing as a chaperone for an Arab pop star.

When I had first seen the trailer for War, Inc., I was actually quite intrigued. It gave me the sense of a grown-up, political  parody a la the old Mel Brooks/David Zucker comedies of the 70s and 80s. What better idea than to take our current political and military situation in the Middle East, that of a war basically run by corporations, and just take it to the ridiculous extreme?

That’s the basis of War, Inc. Wars are no longer waged by countries but by government contractors who bid on “restructuring” projects, such as rebuilding roads, water systems, etc. All the tanks, Humvees, etc., in the movie proudly bare the “Tamerlane” sign, along with a few sponsors (Golden Palace, of course). Sidebar, Tamerlane is clearly the fictional Haliburton… everything was copied, right from Haliburton’s colors and design to the font. Plus, it’s run by a former Vice-President (Dan Aykroyd) who “stopped being Vice-President five months ago”, who was made up to bare similarities to Dick Cheney. Given these facts, this places the movie in 2009.

All the comedic elements are set up: the out-of-place Americanization of a fictional Mid-east town, complete with strip malls with a Panasonic store and a Popeye’s Chicken restaurant. There’s even a bit of physical comedy in the way government assassin Brand Hauser (played by John Cusack, the name itself being an element) is made to jog in time with soldiers as they march through secret halls to a secret bunker.

Unfortunately, these elements aren’t fully exploited. The story suffers from being a mix of parody comedy and political drama. Think Airplane! meets Syriana. We’ve got funny situations with funny characters (Hilary Duff plays a Mid-east pop star named Yonica Babyyeah, who is about to be married to a K-Fed-resembling and -sounding prince), but that’s the extent of the comedy… there aren’t any actual comedic situations (okay, there are a few, but they’re throwaways).

About halfway through the movie, we find our assassin caught up in his cover job, that of a show producer who is hosting Babyyeah’s wedding (which again could’ve provided more funny moments, but doesn’t), while struggling with his past as well as the moral conflict of being an government assassin assigned to kill people who haven’t really done anything (in fact he points out that any time a Central American even causes the slightest dent in the American economy, he’s sent to kill them off).

Overall, War, Inc. suffers from just not going far enough, either as a drama or a comedy. The pieces are there for both, but they’re not put together; or in some cases, they just don’t fit. The march down the secret halls I mentioned earlier was out of place given the way it was shot (in fact, there’s a 2nd time where Hauser and soldiers march down the hall, but they do not jog, leading me to wonder if the first instance was an outtake the director chose to keep in the movie). The acting is good all around, and I was impressed by Hilary Duff’s performance, I honestly didn’t expect much out of her. The only one who actually bothered me was Joan Cusack, who at times seemed to be doing the strangest things, and other times gave half-hearted performances.

It seems that way before the Great WGA Strike of 2007, there was a problem regarding screenwriting credits between George Clooney and the Writer’s Guild of America. Clooney, who’s upcoming movie Leatherheads was based on a 17-year-old script he came across, rewrote the script, almost completely from scratch. But for whatever reason, the WGA denied him a writing credit!

From Variety:

Aside from bringing back pro football’s formative days, “Leatherheads” might be remembered as the film that permanently drove a wedge between George Clooney and the Writers Guild of America.

Clooney went financial core last fall, after the WGA decided 2-1 in a credit arbitration vote that only Duncan Brantley and Rick Reilly deserved screen credit on the picture that Universal opens today.

Going fi-core means a member is still technically a member of the WGA, but has limited rights within the guild. Fi-core members have to pay dues and are covered by the health and pension plans. Once you elect to go fi-core, the decision is irreversible.

“When your own union doesn’t back what you’ve done, the only honorable thing to do is not participate,” said Clooney, who stressed he made no attempt to exclude Brantley and Reilly.

Clooney says he would have quit the WGA altogether if he could, but that would have prevented him from working on all WGA-covered productions. He says he wanted nothing more to do with the WGA but didn’t want to be hampered in his ability in writing scripts.

As for “Leatherheads,” Clooney took a languishing 17-year old project and got a greenlight after personally giving the script a major overhaul that transformed it into a screwball comedy. He says he felt he’d written all but two of the film’s scenes.

While he agreed that Brantley and Reilly deserved first position credit for hatching the idea and characters, he was incensed enough by the WGA arbitration process to go financial core, which rendered him a dues-paying non-voting member.

The WGA had no comment about Clooney’s decision.

Clooney didn’t appeal the WGA ruling, and kept his action quiet because the WGA was gearing up for a strike at the time. He didn’t want the filing seen as him having split ranks with the union over the labor dispute.

Clooney has been a vocal advocate for urging studios and unions to resolve their differences as soon as possible; he joined Tom Hanks, Sally Field and others at a testy February meeting with SAG leaders in order to urge the guild to start bargaining ASAP.

To Grant Heslov, who partners with Clooney in the production shingle Smoke House, and who was a producer with Clooney on “Leatherheads,” the fi-core move was simply a reaction to a bad WGA decision.

“This script that Duncan and Rick wrote sat languid until after we finished ‘Good Night, and Good Luck’ and George wanted to do something lighter,” Heslov said. “George liked ‘Leatherheads,’ but said it never felt quite right. He took it to Italy with him, and I remember when he called to say he thought he’d solved it. One thing that you clearly see, if you read the original, the subsequent drafts and then his draft, is that he wrote the majority of the film. When I got the call about the decision that he wasn’t getting credit, I was shocked. We both thought Duncan and Rick would get first position credit, which they deserved. But this wasn’t right.”

WGA requires directors who seek writing credit to be responsible for 50% of the script. Heslov said Clooney kept his displeasure quiet because he didn’t want to be viewed as a credit hog since, after all, he is the star, director and a producer of “Leatherheads.” But Clooney confirmed his exit to Daily Variety.

Heslov said this wasn’t about ego, pointing out that when Universal sent a notice that the film would bear the credit “A George Clooney Film,” Clooney nixed it. And while Clooney and Heslov shared an Oscar nomination for original screenplay on “Good Night, and Good Luck,” Clooney and ex-partner Steven Soderbergh removed their names from the producer roster, leaving Heslov the sole nominee when the Clooney-directed pic became a best picture candidate.

“He doesn’t take possessory credit because he believes this is a collaborative business and he’s not a guy who needs credit,” Heslov said. “Financial core was his form of protest, but when he did it, he didn’t want it public. We’re both big union guys. Between us, we belong to 12 unions. I think they made the wrong decision, and he was within his rights to respond by going financial core.”

By going fi-core, writers withhold the portion of dues spent by the WGA on non-contract activities — while still being able to write scripts. Fi-core writers pay dues that are 1.9% less than regular members; they also can’t vote on contracts or in any WGA election.

Under WGA rules, if the director or producer of a film is proposed for final credit, an automatic arbitration is triggered.

This is really quite interesting; the whole basis, the very foundation, of the WGA is to give credit where credit is due. And here we have George Clooney, having rewritten practically an entire script, getting NO credit whatsoever. AND, to put salt in the wound, Clooney’s protest (going Fi-Core) is weak at best; the ultimate protest would’ve been to quit the WGA altogether, but unfortunately, if he ever wants to write another movie for a major studio, he is FORCED to remain part of the WGA.

And they say the Mafia doesn’t exist…

This is an interesting way to let people know that they can purchase Lionsgate movies on iTunes (which is Lionsgate’s intent). It reminds me of the EnhancedCDs that made a blip a few years back (apparently some are still being made) that contained bonus materials like music videos or fan club and concert information.

And of course, this will give Apple an extra boost in its nascent rentals business, as I’m sure anyone who happens upon the iTunes store will be told about the rental section as well.

This along with an article in this month’s Wired bring up interesting ideas about the nature of how companies will make money. Wired’s article discusses the surge in “free” products, which are subsidized by other items one might purchase (for example, if you subscribe to cable, you get a free DVR if you sign up for add-on channels). With Lionsgate throwing in a free iTunes movie (albeit for the same movie you got the DVD of), rumors of all major studios reducing the number of movies they make (this was discussed before the WGA strike) and the recent defeat of Blu-ray over HD-DVD, I think we’re in for an interesting year in movie promotions.

Commit this mug to memory. Within a couple of years, it’ll be everywhere.

For those of you who don’t know who this is, this is Anton Yelchin, a fresh, up and coming actor who so far as been featured in movies like House of D, Alpha Dog, and Charlie Bartlett, which opens this week.

There are very few actors I get excited over, and few of THOSE over actual acting prowess. There are very, very few people who you’ll hear me say, “So-and-so’s movie is coming out soon, I can’t wait to see it.” I’m am now officially adding Anton Yelchin to that list.

I didn’t get to see House of D, even though I really wanted to (it being David Duchovny’s directorial debut, someone I’m a fan of), but I was more than eager to watch Alpha Dog, and wasn’t disappointed (okay, I was, but at the lukewarm reception and did poorly in the box office, not the movie itself). Alpha Dog is based on the true story of a young teenager who’s “accidentally” kidnapped and ends up murdered by a group of wannabe thugs. Anton’s (playing the ill-fated teenager) performance was great throughout, so much so that when he meets his fate, my eyes gets wet and I feel nothing but disgust for those idiots perpetrating the crime. The first time I saw it, it was so overpowering that I just felt numb at the end, I didn’t want anything to have to do with anything.

Thankfully, Anton’s new movie, Charlie Bartlett, isn’t nearly as depressing. In it, he plays the title character, who becomes the most popular kid in school by becoming a pseudo-psychiatrist, helping kids out with their emotional problems (and pescribing medication if necessary). While the plot of the movie is looser and less dramatic than that of Alpha Dog, Anton still delivers an incredibly detailed performance, which really shows his range, sometimes within one scene alone. To hold his own against a veteran and highly-praised actor like Robert Downey Jr. doesn’t hurt, either.

He also did an episode of Law & Order a while back, which I give him props for for tackling such a demanding character at such a young age; he played a teenager who becomes obsessed with stalking and killing hookers. He was only 15-16 at the time he shot the episode.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not too crazy about a few of Anton’s next ventures (mainly playing a young Chekov in the upcoming Star Trek restart movie), but I’m predicting that in just a few years, we’ll not only be seeing more of Anton, but he’ll start making some serious moves, including picking up a couple major awards here and there.

Now that the WGA is officially back behind their desks (it wasn’t officially until last night), NBC and the Hollywood Foreign Press may be eyeballing a lawsuit against them. According to Nikki Finke, the two are bitter about the writer’s strike having forced the Golden Globes to become nothing more than a glorified press conference, as opposed to a glorified, televised revenue-generating ass-kissing ceremony of years past.

It’ll be interesting to see what their legal grounds are. I mean, they still had a Golden Globes ceremony, so they can’t say they didn’t get to have that. And I hardly think they can sue because the ceremony wasn’t as grand as before. The only legal ground I can think of is that they’ll sue for loss of profits from ad revenue. Which would just make NBC and HFPA look like even bigger assholes than before.

“That is good weed… that is good weed… THAT IS GOOD WEED!”

Not quite.

This week alone, Hollywood studios have been slapped with THREE humongous lawsuits (more like 2 big ones and one mediocre, but publicity-worthy).

First up is New Line Cinema, which has barely settled their lawsuit with director Peter Jackson mere weeks ago over the Lord of the Rings trilogy (he sued New Line because he claimed they weren’t giving him all the back-end points they agreed on) and is now facing a pseudo-shut down as it may be possibly folded into its parent company Warner Bros (folded meaning everything belonging to New Line will become WB property and the New Line name will be dropped). Now the estate of Rings creator J.R.R. Tolkien is suing New Line because they’re claiming they haven’t received ANY profit-participation money from the trilogy, which grossed almost $3 billion worldwide.

Second: Jew-hating Mel Gibson is being sued by his own writer, Benedict Fitzgerald, who wrote the screenplay for The Passion of the Christ. Fizgerald is claiming that Gibson had made him take a lower wage and less profit points on The Passion because it was going to be a low-budget picture. This lawsuit may go by the wayside, as I think it’ll turn out to simply be a matter of the writer wanting more money because the movie turned out to be a bigger hit than anyone expected.

Now for the one that may cause some serious problems for a movie that’s not even finished yet: 20th Century Fox is suing Warner Bros. over the rights to the upcoming comic adaptation Watchmen (directed by 300’s Zack Snyder). Fox is claiming that they have the exclusive distribution rights for Watchmen, which is currently being produced (and slated for distribution) by WB. Fox claims they had ALL movie rights to Watchmen in the early 90s but (for some reason) gave all but the distribution rights up.

What doesn’t make sense in this lawsuit (for me at least) is that the Watchmen comic book is a DC Comics property… and DC Comics is owned by Warner Bros. Since the beginning of time, only WB has produced (and distributed) movies based on DC books, so what doesn’t make sense to me is why Fox would have the rights to Watchmen.

Just a few hours later I got word that Pioneer stepped in to deliver yet another bitchslap to HD-DVD on behalf of Blu-Ray by lowering the price of their most popular Blu-Ray disc burner from $649 to a can’t-beat-it low $429 (over 30%). This move wasn’t really necessary because Blu-Ray already dominates the high-capacity disc-burning market. Why? Because no one has released an HD-DVD burner yet!

So let’s re-cap: Blu-Ray’s most expensive player on average runs $800, while HD-DVD’s most expensive player runs around $900. Blu-Ray has more player models available and the exclusive support from every movie studio except Paramount, which is expected to cave in soon. Blu-Ray has many disc burners available, while HD-DVD has none.

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) – MyNetworkTV is returning to the scripted arena with a new half-hour comedy series starring rap artist and reality-TV star Flavor Flav.

The network has ordered 13 episodes of “Under One Roof,” a show that network president Greg Meidel describes as “a classic fish-out-of-water story.”

Flav plays Calvester Hill, a former convict who moves in with his wealthy, conservative brother, Walter (Kelly Perine). Calvester turns the Hill family’s life upside down, parading his old prison cronies through the house, teaching his nephew to be a gangsta rapper and butting heads with Walter’s snooty wife.

“Roof” is directed by Brian Roberts and written by Danielle Quarles and Gelila Asres, non-Writers Guild of America writers. The show is in production in Toronto for a spring debut.

Flav, who was a founding member of hip-hop group Public Enemy, has starred in the reality series “The Surreal Life,” “Strange Love” and “Flavor of Love.”

MyNetworkTV launched in September 2006 with a lineup comprising only scripted drama strips but abandoned that format last year in favor of reality shows and theatrical acquisitions. “Roof” marks the network’s first scripted sitcom.

Well, sadly, Universal found a director to take over The Wolf Man. Why sadly? Because he’s only got 2 weeks to prepare to shoot the movie, and because his Jurassic Park was the least impressive of the three. I guess we’ll have to wait until next year to see how this goes…